I have been expecting a better life and better people around. Being unhappy obviously can not be the main stream of my life and I hope happiness to come in peace and soon. I know I have to change part of myself and improve my own personalities before I expect others to be good. I am making my efforts to be better of myself.
It's hard to start a different life from many others'. If I succeed people will be jealous and anyway try to figure our my weak points to compensate their frustration; if I fail, they will criticize and satirize me as much as they can so that they will optimize their satisfaction of being proved to be right again. In any case, they will learn nothing I can learn from my own experience, failure or success.
Trying costs and I may not be able to afford the cost. That is what upsets me most. Nothing could be achieved without any pay, and hope must be realized through efforts. So I have to persist and work much harder than anyone else. It is the life I want and I must be responsible for its coming true. Facing the world with strong heart, I must believe in myself. Love myself and love life, that's how the world becomes lovelier.
All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.